Even though the recently failed park levy will undoubtedly translate into a decrease of snoopy park cops, it's still necessary to hide the outward appearance of "open containers." While magnetic faux-label can cozies and Big Gulp tumblers both provide adequate concealment, my favorite method is also a simple one: the spiked watermelon.


· 1 large watermelon

· 1 fifth (750 ml) of the booze of your choice (vodka is best)

· 1 knife

Simply cut a hole in the melon, approximately 1" in diameter and depth. Save the rind "cork"--you will need it later. Drain the contents of your bottle directly into the melon. To avoid spillage, insert the neck of the bottle completely. Cork and refrigerate for at least an hour. Then take to your favorite public space, slice, and enjoy.

Warning: This juicy fruit will knock you on your ass. Wait a second. are watermelons "fruit"?

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