SoFo (that'd be "south of Foster") is quickly becoming the neighborhood of choice for Portland's young homebuyers. Cheap mortgages, large yards, and lingering lawlessness all add up to BIG FUN. But the late nights come at a price, and the usual suspects on the breakfast circuit are sometimes just too well lit (and the lines are too long) if you've got a serious hangover.
Time to try the fabulous Tik Tok, where an art is made of the hangover breakfast. Greasy food is served up quick and cheap, the weak rays of sunlight barely penetrate the haze of smoke, and the coffee nudges are so strong they're more like coffee kick-yr-asses. And while you might want to choose the closer-in location on 82nd (where the people watching is second to none), I suggest you drive a bit farther to SE 112th and Division, where an angel named Raina ministers to damaged revelers and makes everything better.
Part Whitesnake video and perhaps a hair over five feet (counting her bangs), Raina has three kids and has never seen the Mercury. But it would be tragic if her considerable contributions to the public good went unnoticed. She rocks the hairspray/tight-jeans look better than any downtown punk rock girl, and my escort during this interview got a chubby just sitting next to her.
Yet even more than her hotness is her holiness. She's the patron saint of the hungover, and you'd do well to bring in an offering: Time and time again Raina's been spotted getting off shift with a big bouquet of flowers. She's the prettiest bird in all of Powellhurst, her siren song strong enough to pry customers' eyes away from all-day Keno binges, and soft enough to soothe your pickled brain.
How long have you been working at the Tik Tok?
What on the menu do you recommend?
The chicken-fried steak is wonderful. So are the biscuits and gravy.
This has got to be the smokiest establishment in town. Do you smoke?
Are you kidding me? Of course I smoke.
So often I see you leaving with flowers. Who are they from? A sweetheart? Secret admirer? Grateful customer?
One is a customer and one is the dishwasher. It's been, like, every day for years now.
What do you rock out to when you're at home?
Three Doors Down. Green Day.
When do you work?
Monday through Thursday 9 am to 5 pm, Sunday 7 am to 3 pm.
Try the Tik Tok on the first Sunday of the month, when a wizened retiree regular sharpens knives for a buck a blade. VIVA LAS VEGAS