Mike Clark

Keyboardist and Guitarist for Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks

Having been in the music industry for longer than most of you have been alive, Mike has been at the mercy of soundboards the world over. When asked for his favorite Portland venues he said, "Blue Gallery, EJ's, X-Ray Café, La Luna, and Jiffy Squid," later realizing, "I'm old and none of those places exist anymore." So here are the five (currently operating) venues grandpa here likes.

• Doug Fir: "Obvious choice, and it's often overrun with the Beaverton and Tigard crowd, but the space is cool and the sound is great. Only caveat if you're performing: There's no toilet in the dressing room."

• Crystal Ballroom: "I know some people have issues with the sound and sightlines, but my wife and I got married here, so it's always nice to return to the scene of the crime. I also once juggled apples onstage with Sleater-Kinney here."

• Berbati's: "Haven't actually seen a show here in a while, but my ears are still ringing from the last Melvins show there."

• Satyricon: "We played a 'secret' show here when our last record came out, and I couldn't believe I was in the same place where I once used a fake ID to go see Halo of Flies (did I mention I was old?)."

• Jimmy Mak's: "I've never actually been here, even though I tell myself every week that I'm gonna go check out Mel Brown. But you will definitely find me there this week!"

Taryn Johnson

Dance Instructor, Center for Movement Arts, PCC, Multnomah Athletic Club

Bleeding toes are badges of honor for Taryn, and Fosse is her God. She knows you think dance movies are cheesy and lame, and that's okay because you're not invited to her Strictly Ballroom screening and potluck anyway. But there are some dance flicks that make her want to drive to Hollywood and start breaking legs. If you feel the need to get your Glee on, these are the ones to avoid.

• Save the Last Dance: "Obvious dance doubles in spite of pedestrian choreography."

• Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights: "Dance movie sequels tend to be thinly veiled remakes with a less-talented cast. Why anybody thought they could build on the perfection of the original Dirty Dancing is beyond me."

• Flashdance: "The idea of a stripper making it into a snooty dance school by running around in circles is ridiculous."

• Coyote Ugly: "Oh God, this movie is just all kinds of Gresham."

• Showgirls: "I don't really remember this movie. Gina Gershon's mouth was really distracting."