All the King's Men
See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.

The Anna Cabrini Chronicles
Not screened for critics, writer/director Tawd B. Dorenfeld's film consists of both live action and animation. More importantly: Is "Tawd" a legitimate name? Discuss. Clinton Street Theater

Confetti
See review this issue. Fox Tower 10

Everyone's Hero
Christopher Reeve was a famous movie star who fell off a horse and became a famously perseverant paralyzed guy. But then he died, and then his wife Dana Reeve fucking died too, and then the posthumous Reeves made this inspirational animated baseball movie called Everyone's Hero. Posthumously produced by Christopher Reeve, Hero is supposed to make you feel good. Yankee Irving is little, but his love for the Yankees is big. When Babe Ruth's magical talking baseball bat (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg—could I make this up?) goes missing, Yankee hitches a ride on the Negro League bus (they listen to rap music! In the 1920s!) and heads cross-country to save the day. The animation is less than great. The jokes basically consist of a wisecrackin' baseball (Rob Reiner) not wanting to smell the farts of a human boy. Also, Babe Ruth is fat. In fact, all that this lame "inspirational" movie accomplished was to remind me about how dead Christopher Reeve is. Fuck, I'm depressed. (Lindy West) Regal Cinemas, etc.

Factotum
If you've ever read Charles Bukowski, you know that he makes little effort to disguise himself as the protagonist of his books—and in Factotum, that protagonist/alter ego is, once again, named Henry Chinaski (played by a way-too-handsome Matt Dillon). Factotum is thus something of a real-life account of Bukowski's struggles before fame and fortune. And it wasn't a glorious rise. The charm of Factotum is that it doesn't fancy anything up: Bukowski was poor, fucked up, and had a depressing life. And that's exactly what inspired him to become a great writer. (Katie Shimer) Laurelhurst

Fearless
See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.

Feast
Take the top ten cult films of the '80s, blast it into the future to a time of convincing CGI, and voila, you have Feast. This film was chosen by bonehead panelists Ben Affleck and Wes Craven on the third season of Project Greenlight—but don't let that stop you, as Feast is hilarious, disgusting, self-aware, and unpredictable. The plot is whatever—some strangers are trapped in a bar, Lovecraftian creatures try to gobble them—but this is trivial, since there's also plenty of great stuff, like Henry Rollins and Jason Mewes, and cutesy monsters that hump stuffed deer heads on tavern walls. (Jenna Roadman) Hollywood Theatre

Flyboys
I have two words for you: "zeppelin" and "explosion." Because a "zeppelin explosion" is the only good reason to see this WWI film about a group of US fighter pilots who joined the Lafayette Escadrille, a French air squadron specializing in dog fighting. They're a rag-tag bunch, including the likes of a brave cowboy played by James Franco and seasoned flyer (Martin Henderson)—all watched over by the protective mustache of Captain Thenault (Jean Reno), who looks so stereotypically French you expect him to sprout frog legs at any moment. The movie's not great, but it delivers all the things you'd expect from a WWI dog fighting movie... a shit-ton of CG dog fights, some German who's kinda like the Red Baron, one bar brawl, two Americans crash landing in a field only to wake up in a quaint French brothel, and of course, someone getting shot in the head. (Courtney Ferguson) Regal Cinemas, etc.

French Fried Vacation
"A major hit in France, the cast features many top comedy actors including Josiane Balasko, Michel Blanc, Marie-Ann Chazel, Christian Clavier, Gerard Jugnon, and Thierry Lhermitte." Wait—who are any of those people? Wait again—French people don't even know what comedy is! IT'S ALL A RUSE! Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium

Grin without a Cat
"Cinematic essayist and audio-visual poet" Chris Marker's look at "the international left in the decade following 1967." Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium

Half Nelson
Charming and clever, Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) is a great teacher. Lecturing about history in an inner-city junior high school, Dunne connects with his disadvantaged students, teaching the kids about how opposing forces shape current and past events—and when he's not teaching, he's coaching the school's girls' basketball team. And all this makes it pretty awkward when one of his smartest and most troubled students, Drey (Shareeka Epps) catches Dunne smoking crack in the locker room. The greatness of Half Nelson isn't in its thorny concept, nor in its understated execution—it's in these two lead characters. By the time the end credits roll, it's evident that Half Nelson is truly excellent filmmaking—as intellectually complex and difficult as it is emotionally engaging. (Erik Henriksen) Fox Tower 10

Haven
See review this issue. Fox Tower 10

Iraq for Sale: The War Profiteers
See review this issue. Clinton Street Theater

Jackass: Number Two
See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.

The Last Kiss
A remake of Gabriele Muccino's L'Ultimo Bacio, the script for The Last Kiss comes from Paul Haggis, also responsible for Million Dollar Baby and Crash—both films I disliked for their heavy handedness. Kiss, therefore, is a welcome surprise; a film about romantic relationships and infidelities that's so spot-on that I cried almost as much as the first time I saw Beaches. (Marjorie Skinner) Regal Cinemas, etc.

The Night
Family drama in 1967 Syria! Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium

Nights of the Jackals
A family of Syrian peasants is tortured by the howling of jackals. Goddamn jackals! Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium

Sacrifices
A film from the acclaimed director of Nights of the Jackals. This time: no jackals! Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium

The Science of Sleep
See review this issue. Cinema 21

Stars in Broad Daylight
A Syrian drama about problems arising from an ill-fated double wedding. Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium

This Film is Not Yet Rated
So who determines what ratings films receive—and thus decides what films get shown? The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) does, and it turns out they're dicks. With its stranglehold on Hollywood and theaters, the MPAA's process is so influential—yet so secretive—that it's the perfect subject for a documentary. Half of Not Yet Rated is great: Director Kirby Dick speaks with a fraction of the filmmakers who've been screwed by the system, deducing that the ratings system amounts to censorship. Alas, Dick insists on throwing himself—and his film—into the MPAA clusterfuck, even going so far as to hire a clueless "private eye" to track down the anonymous raters. Not Yet Rated will change the way you watch and think of films—unfortunately, it'll also make you wish it was a better movie. (Erik Henriksen) Hollywood Theatre

Troma Double Feature Night
Tromeo & Juliet and Class of Nuke 'Em High—plus a sneak preview of Troma's upcoming film Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. Video Verite

The Visitors
Two knights from the year 1122 get sent to the year 1992! Oh, dear! What an original concept! Hey, do you think they'll fight a car? No! Never! Also, here's some salt in the wound: This "irresistibly loony comedy" is from France. France. Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium