LOGAN'S RUN Well? Fucking run already.

The '80s Room
Two hours of "the weirdest, funniest, and best television commercials from the 1980s." Hollywood Theatre.

B-Movie Bingo
The Hollywood's series features B-movies, with the audience marking down clichés on a custom-made bingo card. This time around: 1991's Stone Cold, starring Brian Bosworth and Lance Motherfucking Henriksen. Hollywood Theatre.

Beyond the Spill
A film about 22 Oregonians' journey to the Gulf Coast following the oil spill. Proceeds go to the Audubon Society of Portland and Willamette Riverkeeper; director in attendance. Clinton Street Theater.

The Big Fix
A documentary about the Deepwater Horizon, "the root causes of the oil spill and what really happened after the news cameras left." Hey! That's that thing that happened in The Newsroom pilot, right? Clinton Street Theater.

Bike Smut
Watching porn in public is actually more silly and less creepy than you'd think it would be. At least that's the case with Bike Smut, the globetrotting, Portland-born "sex-positive, human-powered" film fest premiering its sixth season: Turning Trixx. The festival's mishmash of short, upbeat, feminist-friendly amateur pornos all revolve around bikes—and while they usually don't involve bike-fucking, per se, you'll likely never look at your saddle the same way. SARAH MIRK Clinton Street Theater.

recommended A Cat in Paris
An adorable French girl and her adorable cat cross paths with Paris' most notorious criminal gang. You will enjoy this stylish little cartoon if you are a child or a lonely cat lady. (I enjoyed it.) ALISON HALLETT Living Room Theaters.

Cinebitch
A monthly fundraiser for Bitch, with "beer, feminists, and trivia/discussion, and often films that you meant to see 15 years ago but didn't." This month's film: 9 to 5. Mississippi Studios.

recommended Death of a Sideshow
Forty-year-old KGW documentary Death of a Sideshow, about West Burnside's drunks and corner stores, is a time capsule of both old Portland and old-school TV. No local station today would produce this wandering, meditative look at alcoholism, hipster jazz clubs, and urban renewal in Old Town, narrated by a reporter literally wearing a trench coat and fedora. Director Mike McLeod wanted to capture "that lousy piece of Skid Row where men lose their identities to cheap wine" before major renovations (like the construction of Big Pink) changed downtown. The result is a slow, interesting portrait of issues that—surprise!—Old Town still deals with today. SARAH MIRK Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium.

Elles
See review this issue. Cinema 21.

recommended The Extraordinary Voyage
The hour-long documentary about film director Georges Méliès (AKA the old man in Hugo) and the restoration of his most famous creation, A Trip to the Moon, plays like an extended DVD extra, but it's worth it to see the new print of Moon that follows. The downside: Trip's new score by techno duo Air is kitschy and overbearing. JAMIE S. RICH Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium.

recommended The Godfather Part II
"I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies." Academy Theater.

Grassroots
Grassroots is based on Phil Campbell's memoir, in which he gets fired from the Mercury's sister paper, Seattle's The Stranger, and then becomes the manager of former Stranger writer Grant Cogswell's doomed-but-spunky campaign for Seattle City Council. The good news is that Grassroots was obviously filmed on location: Seattle, and not some shitty generic Vancouver street corner, is everywhere in this movie. The bad news is everything else. PAUL CONSTANT Fox Tower 10.

Hecklevision: Twilight
The Hollywood Theater presents Twilight—with your text commentary popping up onscreen. Sorry Twihards :( Hollywood Theatre.

How to Grow a Band
Virtuoso mandolin player and composer Chris Thile should be a terrific subject for a documentary, but Mark Meatto's fly-on-the-wall doc How to Grow a Band makes him look like a sullen prima donna. Thile got his start in Nickel Creek, and there is a fascinating story behind that band of child prodigies, but Meatto's not interested in telling it, nor does he dig very deeply into Thile's recent divorce or any other elements of his biography. Instead, the focus is on Thile's band the Punch Brothers and their 2008 European tour, during which they premiered Thile's four-movement string quintet to generally baffled ears. NED LANNAMANN Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium.

I Wish
Two young Japanese brothers, divided between their divorced parents, devise a plan to reunite at a midpoint in the hopes that, if uttered at the precise moment when two bullet trains cross paths, their wish to have their family reunited will be granted. So they assemble a pack of plucky preteens, pool their pocket money, tell a few white lies, and cobble together a little adventure for themselves. This movie is a bit like gardening: It's quiet and slow, and while some people may find that it rewards their patience and attention, for others, its modest revelations may be too gradually realized to be enjoyed. KRISHANU RAY Living Room Theaters.

recommended Logan's Run
A digital restoration of the 1976 sci-fi flick. No one over the age of 30 will be allowed to attend. Ha! Just kidding, old people! You can totally go! (But you will be murdered afterward.) Laurelhurst Theater.

Madea's Witness Protection
Tyler Perry's latest features Tyler Perry, Tom Arnold, Denise Richards, and Eugene Levy. It was not screened for critics. Various Theaters.

recommended Magic Mike
See review this issue. Various Theaters.

People Like Us
See Film, this issue. Various Theaters.

recommended Pink Ribbons, Inc.
See review this issue. Cinema 21.

Portland Underground Film Festival
See Film, this issue. Clinton Street Theater.

Rerun Theater
A screening of 1978's execrable Battlestar Galactica pilot. Fun fact! The monkey they trapped inside that robot dog suit almost died. Hollywood Theatre.

Ted
See review this issue. Various Theaters.

True Wolf
A documentary about wolves that was not screened for critics. What do you have to hide, wolves? Cinema 21.