2 Days in New York
See review this issue. Living Room Theaters.

The Albanian film from 2011, screening as part of the Northwest Film Center's Global Lens series. Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium.

The Apparition
What's this? Oh, right. Another crappy-looking horror flick that wasn't screened for critics. Various Theaters.

recommended The Best of the 48-Hour Film Project
See My, What a Busy Week! Hollywood Theatre.

recommended Celeste and Jesse Forever
See review this issue. Fox Tower 10.

recommended Computer Error: The Worst CGI in Movie History
"Prepare yourself for a brutal barrage of twisters, scorpion kings, sharktopuses, and farting little buddies" as this program from the Alamo Drafthouse highlights Hollywood's worst abuses of computer technology. Hollywood Theatre.

See review this issue. Various Theaters.

recommended The Deadly Spawn
See My, What a Busy Week! Hollywood Theatre.

The Expendables 2
The Expendables 2 is the sort of movie that shows you a cityscape with the Eiffel Tower in it and then feels the need to put "PARIS, FRANCE" at the bottom of the screen. It's the sort of movie where Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger cram themselves into one of those crappy little Car2Go cars, and Arnold rips off the passenger door when he opens it (because he's strong!) and then Willis kicks off the driver's side door (because FUCK A DOOR) and then Arnold says something like "This car is as big as my shoe!", which is a joke. Chuck Norris' beard looks like it is painted onto his face, which it probably is. Sylvester Stallone has a legitimately difficult time forcing his mouth to make the sounds that are the building blocks of human language. There are a lot of explosions, and there is even more Botox. Jean-Claude Van Damme inexplicably leaves his sunglasses on all the time because when he finally takes them off at the end GAAAHHHHH WHAT HAPPENED TO VAN DAMME'S EYES THEY LOOK LIKE REPTILOID EYES. And about 50 million hardworking Southeastern Europeans who were probably just trying to make a few bucks so they could feed their hungry little families get their goddamn intestines blown out of their stomachs and splattered across the ground by a bunch of old men who like to shoot really big guns at foreigners. The end. ERIK HENRIKSEN Various Theaters.

recommended Filmusik
The 1971 Japanese-men-in-rubber-monster-suits-fighting-each-other flick, with a live soundtrack and voiceover. Seawallcrest Park.

recommended Hecklevision: Batman & Robin
See My, What a Busy Week!, and "The Mercury is (Sort Of) Proud to Present Hecklevision: Batman & Robin!" Hollywood Theatre.

recommended Hit & Run
See Film, this issue. Various Theaters.

The Imposter
See review this issue. Cinema 21.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: There's this little kid, and he can see dead people. Now, I know what you're thinking: "This kid, he's probably well adjusted and super popular with his peers, am I right? A hit with all the ladies?" No! Believe it or not, he's kind of an outcast! A social pariah, even! Okay, now I don't want to spoil anything, but the twist? This social handicap of his might turn out to save the day. Sounds crazy, right? I know, but it's true! That, unfortunately, is the recycling-bin plot the talented animators at LAIKA have saddled themselves with on ParaNorman. It doesn't get any better in the telling, and probably gets worse, which is a shame, because the animation is so finely crafted and obviously painstaking that not loving it makes you feel like a real poopface. VINCE MANCINI Various Theaters.

Premium Rush
See review this issue. Various Theaters.

Oday Rasheed's 2010 Iraqi film, and the final selection of the Northwest Film Center's Global Lens series. Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium.

The Revenant
A horror comedy that's neither all that horrific nor all that funny, the overlong The Revenant follows Bart (David Anders), a dead Iraq War vet who comes back to life as a cross between a zombie, a vampire, and an asshole. Teaming up with his buddy Joey (Chris Wylde), the two cause chaos all over Los Angeles—but despite a great ending, there's nothing here that Shaun of the Dead didn't do a whole lot better. ERIK HENRIKSEN Hollywood Theatre.

recommended The Road Warrior
"I'm just here for the gasoline." New 35mm print! Hollywood Theatre.

Set against the racial tensions of Detroit in the late '60s, Sparkle stars a former American Idol and is about a girl group getting discovered, rising to fame, and falling apart. Is this an untimely review of Dreamgirls, you ask? Man, I wish. I LOVED Dreamgirls. Nope, this is Sparkle. It's a lot like Dreamgirls in many, many ways. Most ways, actually. But unfortunately, this film's star and former Idol, Jordin Sparks, is no Jennifer Hudson. This is Sparks' film debut, and her turn as lead character Sparkle—yeah, that's the character's name, it's weird—is weak, giggly, batty-eyelash-y, and does little more than remind me that it's time to watch Dreamgirls again. ELINOR JONES Various Theaters.

recommended The T.A.M.I. Show
"Considered the first rock and roll concert film," 1964's Teenage Awards Music International concert features performances from the Rolling Stones, the Beach Boys, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Marvin Gaye, and "a bevy of bikini-clad go-go dancers." SOLD. Hotel deLuxe.

2009's neo-noir thriller from Hong Kong director Johnny To. Fifth Avenue Cinema.