Oh... my... god. I simply cannot believe you're buying a gift for your DOG. Tell you what... Why don't you save some money, and just give it a pile of cat shit? I can't even look at you right now, I'm so embarrassed.

Dog Aromatherapy

Hounds, terriers, retrievers, and shepherds alike will bark with calm enthusiasm once they experience this lovely aromatherapy. Using a blend of the most delicate spices, perfume infusions, and elite carrier oils, aromatherapy for the dog works by gently infusing the nostrils of the canine and slowly penetrating the olfactory glands with exotic oils. The polar molecules of the oils immediately bond with and affect the dog's pituitary gland (usually responsible for dog hyperactivity). Perfect for your own adorable fluffy friend, or for the canine companion of an officemate that you'd like to shoot.

Dog Aromatherapy, $11.99
http://shop.store.yahoo.com/bigdaddydog/aromatherapy.html or at Beauty for the Beast Pet Launderette (3832 NE Sandy)

Dog Dental Kit

It's happened to everyone: You giving a dog a kiss, but (oh no!) are turned away by the not-so-fresh odor of your dog's mouth, due to the dog's probable consumption of some rotting steak, or the excrement of either himself or another dog. Now, with this complete dental kit for dogs--which comes with a 2.5-oz tube of pet dental toothpaste, a gum brush, and a long-handled toothbrush--you never have to suffer again! Simply sit your halitosis-haver down and brush, brush, brush that yucky bacteria (or left over pieces of excrement) away!

Dog Dental Kit, $7.99
http://shop.store.yahoo.com/bigdaddydog/grooming-dental-kits.html or Beauty for the Beast Pet Launderette

Fancy Stain And Odor Remover

What's this? Your backwoods in-laws fly in from Wisconsin with their Boston Terrier, Clyde, and he immediately goes number one and two on the carpet! Now, with Fancy Stain and Odor Remover, you can combat the mess before it starts. Made with a lot of fancy chemicals and packaged in a cool, festive bottle, your in-laws will never guess that you secretly feel like kicking Clyde in the face and then watching him die in a pile of his own slobber.

Stain and Odor Remover, $4.99
http://shop.store.yahoo.com/bigdaddydog/grooming-stain---odor-remover.html, or Beauty and the Beast Pet Launderette