GIFT FOR... 

the Scientist (not interested in making Anthrax)

Magic, once again, is in the air! Scientific magic! Yes, Virginia, there is a Father Oppenheimer! The following gifts will make any holiday an empirical one.


MC Hawking Gear

Crippled electro-voiced gangsta rapper MC Hawking has the rags you gotta get! T-shirts, tube sleeves, big ass mugs and mouse pads include "A Brief History of Rhyme", "E=MCHawking," "You Down With Entropy?" and "Fuck the Creationists."

MC Hawing Gear, $15-20+shipping
www.mchawking.com


Albert Einstein Commemorative Stein

A scientific slap in the face of the "I before E, Except After C=Mc2" paradigm! Quaff seasonal holiday beer-like suds out of Einstein's wrinkled head while discussing his theory of relativity with relatively relative relatives! Only 3000 of these heady steins were made. Get 'em while they're cool & frosty!

Einstein Stein, $150 (Price does not include shipping, handling, or Lowenbrau)
www.beergear.com/einstein.htm


Alien Abduction Insurance

Help your loved ones stop worrying about who will take care of household scientific experiments, should they fall victim to an alien abduction! Word-up, beaker: Insurance! Thanks to the good people at Intergalactic Commerce Council, a lifetime abduction policy (fram-able and personalized) can be had for only pennies a day!

Abduction Insurance, $24.95
Flying Saucers Gourmet Coffee & Tea
www.flyingsaucers.com/aainsur.htm


Gator Meat

It doesn't take a rocket science wannabe to know that a whole alligator can make or break a holiday feast. It's available locally and makes for one hell of a solstice luau centerpiece.

Whole Alligator (including head and feet), price varies depending on size. Special order only, 3-week advance notice required.

Nicky USA, 223 SE 3rd Avenue, Portland, Oregon
503-234-GAME
www.nickyusawildgame.com

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