New Column! 

CHRIST, THAT ACHES

AHHHH...GODDAMN THAT'S SORE. Oooh, yeah, right there. I have no idea what the hell I did to it, but it is REALLY sore. It's like the whole area is tender! But especially along here. See? Ouch! Yep, that's it, alright. Right there!

What did I do yesterday? We didn't...I mean, I was at the studio all day, right? How could it get so sore? We shot a few opening scenes, no stunts...I didn't even break a sweat. The whole thing lasted 20 minutes, tops. I sat around and talked to Patrick awhile afterwards, but that was it.

Can you use Bengay for something like this? It won't hurt it or burn in any way, will it? What about around the...the...I mean, the skin is probably pretty sensitive there, isn't it?

One thing's for sure--I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. I can't even turn over without it starting to throb.

I can't see all the way under there myself. Turn on the light, will you? Can you take a look at it? Is it bruised, or discolored in any way? Bring that light over and look at it up close. God, it's just killing me!

Ow! Jesus! Leave it alone! I told you it hurts there! Yes, RIGHT THERE. Okay, fine. FINE. Just don't push it like that. OW! You have to be gentle! OWWW! CHRIST! WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP PUSHING ON IT?!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESS IT LIKE THAT! You think you'd like it if I did that to you? It hurts like hell! You know it's sore! Why do you keep messing with it? You're making it worse!

OWW!! GODDAMN IT! ARE YOU DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?!! JUST FORGET IT, OKAY? I'm sorry I asked! Just leave me alone. Just...just leave it, alright? Fine.

Unnggghhh. Ah...owww! Oohhhh. Christ, that aches!

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this thread:

Comments are closed.

From the Archives

Most Commented On

Top Viewed Stories

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy