Satan

New Column!
A Home of Their Very Own
Did you know there are over
500 Oregon children
in desperate need of adoption?

The Mercury is pleased to spotlight these needy kids in hopes that one day they can find a proper home and a loving family environment. For more info call 1-800-346-6478.

A SPECIAL CHILD, RANDY NEEDS EXTRA CARE, LOVE

Meet Randy. He likes to point at things and talk about them. He loves to take long walks, hang out in front of 7-11s, and often goes to sleep hugging a biker magazine. However, prospective parents interested in adoption should know he has also been arrested for burglary and felonious assault. That means this 45 1/2-year-old boy needs a stable family unit that can care for him and make his life as fulfilling as possible. Children with prior records like Randy can still learn, they just do it differently; they can blossom, they just have a different timetable; they can behave appropriately, they just need support and acceptance.

Randy has many good attributes. He knows many funny jokes, and is very adept at making people he does not like feel uncomfortable. He also knows how to work on refrigerators. Randy has few nutritional requirements, except for bologna sandwiches and the occasional pack of Marlboro reds. A family with older kids (preferably college-age girls), and without pets (please, no birds) would work best with Randy's disposition. For those in need, an adoption assistance subsidy is available, and Randy receives several Social Security checks every week.