Last week, when American forces began their inevitable build-up in the Persian Gulf, the Pentagon assigned the operation a code name: "OPERATION INFINITE JUSTICE." However, just when we learned to love the name "OPERATION INFINITE JUSTICE," US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said the name is being reconsidered because Muslims find the name offensive, believing only Allah can provide infinite justice. And let's face it--we ain't Allah.

That's why it's up to Americans like us to come up with a new code name! A code name that's catchy, but will also build our patriotic fervor to a fever pitch.

Below you will find several examples of excellent code names. Vote on the ones you like best, send them to lovenotes@portlandmercury.com, and we'll forward the winning suggestion to the Pentagon! And as always, you're invited to suggest your own name as well, just in case ours suck. Which they might. But we doubt it.

(Check all names you think might be good suggestions.)

o OPERATION EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

o OPERATION PIGBITIN' MAD

o OPERATION BEARD BUSTER

o OPERATION PORTLAND STREETCAR

o OPERATION NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER

o OPERATION SPANISH INQUISITION

o OPERATION "OH! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!'

o OPERATION BITCH SLAP

o OPERATION SHAFT! (YOU DAMN RIGHT!)

o OPERATION TIGHT BUTTS DRIVE ME NUTS

o OPERATION 'YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!'

o OPERATION WESLEY CRUSHER

o OPERATION 'YIPPIE KI-YI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKER'

o OPERATION U CAN'T TOUCH THIS

o OPERATION CAMEL TOE

o OPERATION LET'S HOPE THIS WORKS'

o OPERATION BLOOMIN' ONION

o OPERATION DADDY'S LITTLE BOY

o OPERATION 'DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE'

o OPERATION APPROVAL RATING

o OPERATION SUNTAN ACTION FORCE

o OPERATION MIDDLE EAST II, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

o OPERATION FOR UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

o OPERATION "DUDE, WHERE'S MY WAR?'