Hall Monitor 

Simon Says

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I AM CONSIDERING changing my name to Simon, because two people did exactly what I told them to do this week—which was nice.

First up, Portland Police Association boss Scott Westerman resigned. I texted him on the weekend of April 10 asking if he would, after the Oregonian broke the story about his two road rage incidents ["Road Rage Redux," News, April 15].

"Do you think I should?" he replied.

I told him I would, in his position. And so...

"My recent off-duty behavior has added another negative spotlight to the honorable work being performed every day by the men and women of the Portland Police Bureau and law enforcement in the metro area," he wrote, in a prepared resignation statement released Monday, April 19. Score!

There was nothing in Westerman's statement about totally taking Matt's—I mean, Simon Davis'—advice, but he can thank me later. And it's restorative to see a local political figure choosing to put his organization's credibility first over his own grip on power.

Second, City Commissioner Nick Fish has decided to postpone a parks bond measure scheduled for the ballot this November. I first flagged this issue last year, wondering how Fish could be contemplating pursuing a new parks tax before funding other more pressing issues, like housing ["Houses, or Parks?" Hall Monitor, Dec 10, 2009].

"Okay, you were right all along," wrote Fish, in an email on Monday. And better still, he says it's "entirely likely" that the housing levy he plans to focus on next year will include at least some provision for mental health. GOAAAALLL!

At this point, Simon Davis would like to air a few more hopes for Portland. First, he hopes you won't think it's weird to refer to himself for the remainder of this column in the third (or fourth?) person. But power corrupts, absolutely.

Second, he hopes the voters pay a bit more attention to the upcoming election than they have so far. Particularly to the open race for county commissioner and the race for City Commissioner Dan Saltzman's seat.

Last of all, PGE Park should totally be renovated with taxpayer funds, but it should be turned into a massive permanent fish 'n' chip expo focusing on the best batter-frying techniques from all over the world. At the very least, could somebody please deep-fry Merritt Paulson?

Simon says...

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