When it rains, it pours.
On the same day that Mayor Tom Potter announced that he wouldn't be seeking reelection next year, news broke that the gap in Commissioner Erik Sten's front teeth scored a 10 out of a possible 10 from international gap-rating website LuckyGap.co.uk.
Sten heroically beat competitors like Maya Angelou, Elijah Wood, David Letterman, and the mom from Good Times. He was visibly moved, and surprised by the honor.
"It doesn't get any better than a 10 out of 10," he beamed. "I mean, this amp doesn't go to 11, right?"
In other insanely important city news, the committee to reform the Rose Parade's duct-taping policy continues apace. The committee was formed when, bizarrely, Commissioner Randy Leonard was unable to get enough votes to ban the practice of using duct tape to reserve parade-watching spots. They met for the second time on Monday, September 10, and are moving toward a resolution on the pressing issue.
So far, the plan is to ban duct taping and other methods of reserving spots in absentia, but to install bleachers along the parade route and mark off numerous spaces for the disabled and their families. Oh, and more Honey Buckets. You can never have too many Honey Buckets.
If public restrooms are the answer to every city problem—as recent months have suggested—perhaps they can save the mayor's chances of getting the Drug- and Prostitution-Free Zones (DFZs) renewed. Coming as a shock to exactly no one, consultant John Campbell, who was hired to analyze the DFZ exclusion data in lieu of a long-promised oversight committee, didn't have enough time to complete his work by September 12.
That was the date the mayor's office had scheduled for a hearing on the DFZs, which expire at the end of the month. Now, the hearing's been pulled indefinitely, and there's a strong chance the controversial policy will die a quiet death.
At least for now. If Commissioner Sam Adams runs for mayor, that could all change. Adams is supportive of the DFZs in theory, though he has problems with the way Potter has failed to provide oversight. If he moves into a position of control over public safety policy, the zones could be resurrected.
Yet another name has been added to the list of possible candidates for city council, should Adams run for mayor—Jeff Bissonnette, organizing director for the Citizens' Utility Board and longtime consumer protection advocate.
"He's got a base that should propel him toward public financing [through Voter-Owned Elections]," Sten says.