[MY GRANDMOTHER is aware that I occasionally write movie reviews for this newspaper. I have forbidden her from ever reading my reviews because she wouldn't appreciate the movies I see or that my writing appears a few pages before a bunch of ads for phone sex lines. I took this movie assignment for her.]
Hi Grandma! I hope you are doing well. I am sorry I haven't called in a couple of weeks. I have been... studying. A lot. Yeah, so I watched a movie I think you would like! It's called Quartet, and it stars a bunch of British actors who are silver foxes, like you! They live in a retirement home for musicians. The home is this beautiful English mansion, and all they do is tinker around with music and go on slow walks, and it is the most charming and quaint life possible. Keep in mind, all of these people have accents. Yes, sometimes they curse, but I promise it's not too vulgar! It's sweet. Those accents! Oh, and they wear a lot of scarves, because it's autumn. Beyond charming.
Anyway, this delightful musical pot gets stirred with the arrival of Jean (Dame Maggie Smith, the saltiest of the notoriously salty English elderly). Jean was the biggest opera star in her day, and has some decades-old drama with members of her former quartet (Billy Connolly, Tom Courtenay, and Pauline Collins). While the other three want to get the gang back together to perform for the retirement community's annual gala, Jean is worried because she's old and can't sing as well as she used to. It gets a little bit sad, because aging seems hard, but for the most part, stuff stays pretty upbeat. I bet you can figure out what happens. But even though there are zero surprises, old people (like you! I love you!) are the best, especially when they are singing and slowly dancing, so I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe we should go see this together sometime. I'll call soon.