Your voice, as shallow as this sounds, makes the filling in my teeth hurt. I know all you're trying to do is have us meet for our first time, but I don't want to now. We've briefly talked on the phone a few times (enough times that it makes my hair stand up when you enunciate certain words, because your high-pitched squeal doesn't match you're fuck-me-now face.) Even though we've never met, I had to talk you out of masturbating while on the phone. I get that we're adults, and I get that our conversation went sexual for a second, but you also explained to me that you don't watch porn alone or go to strip clubs. You said I don't ever have to worry about walking in on you masturbating to girls on the computer. But, I want to walk in on my partner purposely masturbating knowing I'm coming home and will catch him, 'cause it's fucking hot. What I don't want is to listen to you orgasm with your voice sounding like I kinda want to feel if your balls actually fell. I canceled a second time on you today. And you're mad. And I'm sorry.—Anonymous
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.