Last weekend I took my elderly mother (she's a spry 85) to the Clackamas River, where she spent many happy hours as a girl. She was innocently wading by the shore when a gang of hooligans came tubing downstream, whistling and hooting at her. Then someone shouted and threw a beer can in our direction! The poor woman was struck dumb with terror and almost lost her footing. Then we saw a hippie-looking gentleman on the bank nearby who was displaying parts of his anatomy and performing certain bodily functions that should never be seen in public. My mother was horrified and disgusted! Not only was a nostalgic afternoon ruined, but now she says she will never visit here again. Our whole family has had enough of Clackamas County to last a lifetime. We don't want their denizens to be tubing three sheets to the wind down the river into Portland and bringing their bad manners and crime to our peaceful streets. And we certainly don't need any more light rail to make it easier for them to find their way here.—Anonymous
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