I saw you driving around downtown last week in your blue Jetta. You had about four or five parking citations under your windshield wiper that you didn't bother to remove before setting out from wherever you were parked (illegally, I assume). I saw you again this morning, driving near Pioneer Courthouse Square. It appeared that you still haven't bothered to remove the citations, or maybe you got a whole new set. I'm not aware of any "scarlet ticket" decrees from the parking authorities that require scofflaws to display their citations of shame. It leaves me to wonder whether you are going for some sort of martyrdom, are engaged in some sort protest against the city's parking policies, or just think it's a cool way to show your street cred. Just take the tickets off, throw them in the trash, and rack up penalties like a normal person, weirdo.—Anonymous
Street Parking Cred
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.