Illustration by Kalah Allen

This is why I won't date you: It's because you do yoga, but I can't tell you that. See, if we dated and hit it off, then you'd eventually pressure me into doing yoga, and I'm not doing yoga. So then it would become this big thing—a wedge between us because I don't want to do yoga and you do. I didn't do yoga before we met, so there's precedent there, but you won't understand that. So I just won't date you. Same thing for those who do outdoor sports. How can I go out with you? If we hit it off, then we'd eventually talk about moving in together and we'd have to build a shelf in the garage for all of your gear. I can't date someone who owns gear. "And here's the shelf where all your gear can go, honey." That cannot and will not happen.—Anonymous