Illustration by Kalah Allen

Thank you, Portland, for this trend of dudes wearing scarves out to bars. You had me laughing so hard I cried on Saturday night. Particularly due to the guy who tried to cut the shuffleboard line, and started mean mugging everyone while wearing a scarf around his neck. That was some funny shit. Then I noticed that there were around 10 dudes in the bar, and of them, four were wearing scarves! LOL! So you don't think you look like enough of a douche already, and you need to kick it up a notch with a scarf? It wasn't really cold enough to justify a scarf as simply a practical means of keeping warm, so I can only assume these dudes just think scarves are cool. So please, keep wearing those scarves, tough men of Portland, 'cause scarves are hard, yo! LOL!—Anonymous