Illustration by Kalah Allen

Dear Ex-Girlfriend: You aren't the first girlfriend I've lied to and manipulated, just one in a long string. You also aren't the first to snoop through my things. Too bad you found out about the other women and occasional drugs. We could have been happy if you'd just left well enough alone. Ours is the first relationship I hid from other women using social media, though! Tech is pretty useful. And now I am using it to block you out of my life so you won't see who I've been lying to you about most recently. You don't have the right to tell her about me the way you said you wished someone had warned you. I may be in midlife and still doing this, but women, including you, love the attention while I give it, and you don't have a right to judge me for getting what I need from who I choose in whatever way I can. You and my last girlfriend both needed to be in therapy anyway, so maybe you should thank me!—Anonymous