Kalah Allen

Dear Drug Seeker: Hi, I’m Dr. Idiot! You’re here for what? Severe back? Yeah, please continue with your excessively detailed story about your back… funny how you’re totally vague about what it is you want. I’m sure you’re not about to ask me for… Oxycodone?! And I almost fell for it. Thanks for fucking with my sensitivity compass. Now I will doubt the next patient with pain. Of course you’re allergic to all other meds. Totally original. An insensitive prick? Moi? Gosh, you were so nice 10 seconds ago. Sorry you jobless, weed-stanky slob, this isn’t Starbucks! I would MD-punch you right in the balls if I could. My nurses are wondering why it’s always me who gets into it with pain patients, not realizing I’m the only doc who refuses to feed your addiction.—Anonymous