Kalah Allen

I WAS MARRIED FOR 15 YEARS, and after my recent divorce I started dating again. I went online and met a girl—we hit it off and planned to go out last Saturday night. From my younger friends, I learned about a new trend among the single folk. That trend was to be shaved down below. I've never done such a thing, but wanting to jump in head first (no pun intended), I decided to give it a go. I got my electric razor and stood in the shower for a good 45 minutes, learning as I went. It seemed that the more I shaved, the more the remaining long hairs stood out. I grabbed my shaving razor to get the random few, but that took forever and I also nicked myself more than thrice. I showered, moistened, and prepped myself for a night out... only to get a text an hour before with the girl canceling for some probably made-up reason. I grabbed a beer to ease the rejection and then I felt the wave of itchiness rise upon me. It's been three days and my nether regions itch like a motherfucker. It's been a horrible experience that I'll likely never do again. I shave my sack and you cancel?! Never again.—Anonymous