MY GUY AND I went to a neighborhood pub for happy hour. We each enjoyed some Northwest beer, some pizza, and salad. He even bought me a rose that afternoon, and walking down the street with it made me feel like I was in a romantic comedy. That was, until 10 minutes after we left the restaurant, when I realized I looked like I'd been stabbed in the ass. I was experiencing some extreme bleeding, and it had soaked through two supposedly protective barriers and three layers of clothing. I didn't know what to do: Did I need to go back and notify the bartender? Call the bar and tell them about the biohazard? We discussed the problem. It was a busy night, and someone else had probably already sat in my seat. I am profusely sorry if you were the person who sat in the booth after me. I hope you were not wearing light jeans. Note to self and to all: always look before sitting, even in a dimly lit bar or restaurant. :( —Anonymous