I, Anonymous 

BONEhead BARTENDERS BEWARE!

Why assume that if someone under 5 feet tall walks up to the bar and orders a drink, she must be underage? Yes, I'm 4 feet 7 inches tall, and yes, I'm 25 years old. Yes, I look extremely young for my age. Here's a hint: Why not simply ask for ID? It's great that you're all so vigilant--we all know the OLCC are strict bastards--but that doesn't mean you have to be rude and condescending in enforcing their rules. Instead of turning to my friend and informing her, not me, that I'm "not allowed" in the bar, couldn't you just look me in the eye and calmly ask, "Can I see some ID?" And another thing, once I've shown you my ID, please don't act like a defensive jackass about it. Don't exclaim, "Wow! You look really, REALLY young for your age!" as though it were some brilliant revelation I'd never heard before. Don't you think I maybe get sick of hearing about it everywhere I go, every day? To the few 'tenders who have carded me politely and respectfully, I offer my thanks. To the rest of you: Just pour me a drink and try to think before you speak.--Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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