You were the worst father-in-law ever. You came over all the time to bug us, uninvited, and you would always stay too long. You were always critical of me, even publicly. You were a grade-A asshole. But I chose to be nice to you on Fathers Day anyway. We invited you over to have dinner with us and your grandkids, to celebrate the sperm donation you made many years ago. You criticized the free meal placed before you, and generally proceeded to be an asshole, yet again. I got fed up. I offered you dessert—chocolate chip ice cream—and of course you accepted it, you fat fuck. Little did you know that we only had vanilla ice cream in the fridge. Even your sweet grandkids were so pissed at you that they helped me chop up the Ex-Lax. I'm glad you never came over for dinner again.—Anonymous