I, Anonymous 

HEY POT-HEAD! GIVE ME BACK MY LICENCE PLATE!

All right, so you were stoned when you stole my license plate. Who could blame you? It said 4:20! Whoa man... a license plate that has 420 on it! Sure I understand, you needed it for your collection. I bet you hung in your room between your stacks of High Times and your prized, six-foot glass bong. I bet your friends were really, really impressed. Well I'm not, you fucking burnout! I got a ticket for not having a front plate and I can't afford to get a new set. So why don't you toke a phatty, have some laughs about this whole far out trip, and put my license plate back on my fucking car. The screws are still in my bumper where you so courteously left them. Thanks for not stealing those to. --Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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