We broke up almost a year ago. According to your friends, you've moved on and you're happier than you've been in years. Gee whiz, that's nice to hear. I'M NOT. So, I hacked into your e-mail account. Have you noticed a big drop in your spam? Yeah, I delete those for you. No need to thank me. I know that you're real busy with your new life and everything, so I've started replying to your friends for you. Last week I even had e-mail sex with some girl you met in a bar. She seemed real nice, and wow, what a kinky little minx! She started to get a little upset toward the end though, when you started to get mean. My, the things you say in the heat of the moment! Oh well, I think we can do better than her anyway. Oh yeah, your mother sent a message a few days ago. Turns out that your aunt... or a cousin or someone, I'm not really sure... but at any rate, she died. Sorry.