I, Anonymous 

CHOKE HER WITH IT

I wanted to thank you for showing me such a wonderful time on Saturday night. You're a very sweet person, and I enjoyed our conversations. I don't think we should seriously see each other, though.

But I'd still like to ignore you while you hang on my every word. I'd really love to string you along, letting you believe there's some remote possibility that things will change between us. It makes me happy to have someone who calls me constantly, even if I'm too inconsiderate to bother returning your calls, and I rush you off the phone so I can spend time with the guy I'm actually interested in. See, sometimes he doesn't behave the way I want him to either, so I know how it can get you down. But it really helps being able to call you, get your hopes up, have you invite me out, pay for it, treat me like a queen... Then, next time I see you I can act really distant.

Anyhow, like I said: Thanks for Saturday. You actually look okay in a tie.--Anonymous

Read more I, Anonymous here

To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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