I, Anonymous 

Burn, Baby, Burn

You, Mister Rock Club Doorman, are hereby condemned to suffer eternally in Rock 'N' Roll Hell! I go to every single one of my favorite band's shows; I'm their biggest fan! I rode two buses for an hour to make it to that show at your club. When I got there I discovered the cover was 8 bucks. I was willing to go without eating and fork up my very last $5, everything I had, all for the love of Rock 'N' Roll. Then your fascist ass went and spoiled the fucking evening, refusing to let me in for $5! What the fuck, smartass? $5 might be less than $8, but it's a lot more than $0. Awesome mathematics, dude. And have you noticed your town? And that it rocks? And that nobody even slightly cool would turn away someone for lack of funds? Fucking capitalist asshole. The only rocking you'll ever do is back and forth on your bruised anus after being sodomized by double necked guitars all day long in Rock 'N' Roll Hell!!

--Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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