Kalah Allen

Hey Mr. DJ—shut the fuck up! And your sidekick promoter, too. Oh, you want to DJ at my bar? Well, I could really give a fuck about your "unique eclectic mix of electro-hop-dirty-techno and broke-beat house blends." Here's an idea: Make a fucking CD, you clone. And maybe I'll give it to the guy who schedules the DJs so we can find out that your transitions are wack (if even existent), and your eclectic mix isn't remotely inspiring. And I really don't care whether or not you're in from San Francisco when the dancefloor is empty. So here's a few pointers from the bar where you so desperately want to "spin": Make a sample CD, drop it off, get some style, stop fucking asking me who books our DJs, AND most importantly, play what we want to hear, not what you think we should hear... Or I'll just do it myself. Because I'm a DJ too. Everybody is.—Anonymous