Illustration by Kalah Allen

Dear people who had the house party off NE 15th and Killingsworth a few summers ago: I was most terribly, hopelessly addicted to heroin at the time. I was just another scumbag junkie chick with a pocketful of heroin, and had just left my dealer's place a few blocks away when I came walking by. First the music caught my attention, and then I thought it would be the perfect crime to slip unnoticed through the sea of happy, drunken strangers and use your bathroom to get my fix. Today I'm 17 months clean, and the guilt is killing me. I'm sorry I peed in your sink. (In my defense, your toilet WAS clogged.) I'm even sorrier I left that other little brown surprise in your bathtub. There is no justifying that one.—Anonymous