I, Anonymous 

Happy Self Righteous Holidays

To the people who've already picked up their Christmas tree: Did you have a person carry your tree so you wouldn't get dirty? Did you give that person a tip? Most likely NOT! You probably thought it was part of their job. Well, all they have to do is take the tree off the stand and wrap it--the rest they do to be nice, and so you won't get dirty. I know you didn't think about offering a buck--of course not. Hell, you didn't know, right? My ass you didn't know! May your tree die, or fall over and break the stand right after you set it up. (To the few who did tip, I bid you the best Christmas you have ever had.) But back to the lowlifes: I suggest you make your way over to the lot and give at least a buck. But you know as well as I do that you won't. So I'm going to pick out one worker at random and do something special for them, so I can rest knowing I made another person's holiday a little nicer. The rest of you: I don't see how you can live with yourselves. --Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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