I, Anonymous 

Dissenting Students

I thought you were cool because you listened to Modest Mouse. Tonight, though, you yelled at me to turn off MY music... It's not even quiet hour yet! It would be understandable if you had an exam, but NO! I can still hear your Bright Eyes crap playing, and EVERY WORD YOU EVER UTTER comes into my room!

You are a fucking loud drunk bitch and I NO longer think you are cool. Your BF better be deaf because if he heard your loud-ass stupid comments, he would want to shoot darts in his ears. Taken from your loud footsteps, you weigh in the region of 500 pounds--SO I also hope your BF is blind.

Thanks for inviting all your friends over to walk up and down the stairs all night, too. We can make a deal: You shut the fuck up and lose 400 pounds, and I won't call the CIA about the notebook of terrorist plans you have been discussing with your Iranian/Canadian BF. BTW, I hope you choke on your puke. --Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com


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