I, Anonymous 

Geek Freak Out

To the two moronic, loud-mouthed fuckers who I was unfortunately sitting next to during Revenge of the Sith: Thanks a whole bunch for ruining the last two hours of the movie by having non-stop, regular-toned conversations with each other (and ones that weren't even about Star Wars, I might add). I waited in line--out in the pouring, chilly rain--for over FIVE HOURS (even after just getting over a two-week sickness), AND anxiously waited an additional SIX YEARS to see this movie, just so you two could FUCKING TALK through the whole thing. And to top it off, right as Vader emerged in his new armor, you fucks rustled around and grabbed your coats, and talked about getting ready to leave--as if it were a basketball game with two minutes left, and your team was down by 20! "Gee whiz, we better get a move-on to beat this traffic!" FUCK YOU!!! There's still a good 15 minutes of the movie left!

I hope the next time you see a movie, the person sitting next to you farts in your popcorn. May the Force be with everyone except you. --Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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