I, Anonymous 

Potter Slaughter

You fucking cunt!We've waited years to get to another installment of Harry Potter's commercial giant of a wizardly soap opera--only to get stuck in line at the book release party behind you, you attention starved, scary woman. (You look just like a QVC-collector's porcelain doll! Scary!) Blast you!You rejoined your friend, who was still in line, with your precious new copy clutched in your claws. Then you turned to the end of the book's heart-wrenching climactic pages and started reading aloud (!), oblivious to the head-imploding stares of everyone around you in line.If only I had muttered "Expelliarmus!" in time to cast the volume from your hands before the entire story was ruined… but no, you were too fast. A hex upon you and your friend, who should have been mortified by your spoilage. Then again, you've probably sucked his personality into your black hole because you have been, truly, trained by dementors. Muggle scum!--Anonymous

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