I, Anonymous 

Suicide's Greatest Hits

I am so sick and tired of seeing ads and infomercials for really stupid CD compilations. How many people are really going to spend $19.99 on the best '80s love songs or techno hits of the '90s? Nostalgia is overrated. If they really want to make money, why doesn't someone just create a mix CD called Songs to Kill Yourself To? Not to sound like a morbid suicide promoter, but simply as an entrepreneur. What Cure-, Nick Drake-, Radiohead-, Sarah McLachlan-, Staind-, Tears For Fears-, Nirvana-, Joni Mitchell-listening angsty teen, goth, punk, nerd, bulimic, lonely housewife, chain-smoking, closeted-gay, emotional, newspaper-reading, post-breakup, AA member, didn't-make-the-sports-team, laid-off, or never-been-laid type of person wouldn't buy that? Seriously. I guess the only problem is that you couldn't count on repeat customers to be around in order to buy Songs to Kill Yourself To... Again! Too bad.—Anonymous

Read more I, Anonymous here

To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com


Subscribe to this thread:

Comments are closed.

From the Archives

Most Commented On

Top Viewed Stories

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy