I, Anonymous 

Pug Thuggery

To the decaying old bitch in the yellow dress at Irving Park who picked up my pug by his harness and threw him: If you don't want dogs walking around your family's picnic, then don't have your picnic smack dab in the middle of the off-leash area during off-leash hours. You. Are. So. Stupid. Even though you were screaming incoherently and obscenely in my face after I told you not to touch my dog ever again, I could sense with my peripheral vision that your family was embarrassed at your appalling conduct. If you ever touch my dog, or have the gall to terrorize other dogs in the area of the park appointed for their recreation I'll... I'll... well, to be honest there's probably nothing I can do to you that's worse than whatever made you a violent, yellow-eyed, ill-bred person in the first place. I know what I won't do, and that's call the cops again. (Thanks SO much for having my back, fuzz. You just never showed up.) I guess we'll be going to the Laurelhurst and Mt. Tabor dog parks from now on so you and your brood can barbeque in pug-free splendor.—Anonymous

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