I, Anonymous 

Pulling the Plug

I live on the inner "Beastside"(screw "LoBu"), adjacent to the building your band, the lamest band on earth, practices in. The practice spaces have been there a while and I've heard some decent talent, but your pre-teen style of death metal was played out circa 1987. Your "singer" sounds like he's having, for lack of a better term, an incessant barf-a-thon. To top it off, you often disregard the neighborhood sound compliance laws and play your brand of crap super fucking loud well past midnight, windows wide open. I don't want to rain on your pathetic soul-grating parade, but for the sake of my entire building, give it the fuck up. Really, your band sucks more ass than the crack hos who sit on your building's stoop. No amount of practice will ever change that. If you think this might be your band, take notice. (I'll even put up some red Xmas tinsel on the chain link fence across the street so you'll know.) Please shut your windows and stop practicing late (by law 10 pm) or, fuck you, princesses of the dark—did I mention the cops tend to brazenly "confiscate" sound equipment over these kinds of complaints?—Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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