I, Anonymous 

A Deadly End

Dear Retards of Portland: Learn to read! In case you need someone to spell it out for you, 99th Avenue, the street that goes between Prescott and Sandy, is a dead end!! If you stupid fuckers knew how to read the two (yes, count them TWO) signs at the end of the street that clearly say "Dead End" you would know to choose an alternate route. And yet you continue to speed down the street anyway, turn around and then speed even faster back the other way... because it's a fucking dead end! Yes, you can see Sandy, and while it may appear to go through, it doesn't. So the next time you fucking illiterate fuckheads speed down my street, expect to be met with pissed-off neighbors pelting your shiny new car with rocks. If you don't live on this dead-end street, don't drive down it! And if you do choose to ignore the very obvious signs, don't be surprised when our neighborhood association craters your ass with rocks. You've been warned.—Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com


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