I, Anonymous 

A Patriot's Act

Yeah, I punched you in the face, unprovoked, as I walked by your car (the one with the lame-ass pro-war stickers on the rear window). But, hey... I was just being preemptive. How was I to know if you'd attack me or not? I was assuming from your bumper stickers that you hate my freedoms.

I guess I just snapped and it all came together, like a grand epiphany: "I must stop the people who are saying 'okay' to senseless death, the 'Patriot' Act, and the dissolution of our inalienable rights, given to us in the Constitution." I was merely correcting your behavior, as YOU would have seen fit.

What puzzled me after your nose immediately blurted blood was that I wanted to help you up. But instead I coldly walked on as if you mattered little or not at all. See, I cannot take full accountability for my actions. Your president doesn't, and I'm just trying to follow in his greatness. Violence solves violence, as your bumper sticker truly implied.

Freedom of speech is kinda dead now, so my intention was to explain this in a way you could totally understand. What I did was wrong—100 percent. No question about it, and I hope your nose is okay. Hey, at least I can apologize. Certain people won't.—Anonymous

Read more I, Anonymous here

To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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