I, Anonymous 

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Dear friends—yes, plural—receiving unemployment: Sure it was kind of cute at first that you could hang out when-fucking-ever since you manipulated yourselves out of your jobs nearly two fucking years ago. That was very convenient for me, as I rarely had free time to coordinate a drunken night out with my other friends who actually work. But as I've struggled with simple expenses and seen you tripping the light-fucking-fantastic as renters pay off your mortgage, and watched my pathetic paycheck hemorrhage out to taxes, I realize that you "raping the system to get your due from the man" is actually you fucking us all over as we spiral into the worst economic shithole since the depression, you lazy fucking fuck-off. Get a fucking job, deadbeat, and quit whining when I can't/don't want to hang out with you anymore.

-Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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