I, Anonymous 

Crimes of Contempt

It started out like any other shopping experience at Fred Meyer. I was finished with my shopping and had to return to yet another fun line to buy myself smokes. I was in line behind you as you railed at the customer service lady for God knows what, making sure all of us around you knew that you were so important. Yes, you are a cocksucker. You should get that on a shirt. Anyway, on my way out I realized I forgot cash. I headed over to the ATM and there you were again. Yay, another line. Finally you left. As I approached the ATM I heard beeping. The screen had a familiar prompt. "Would you like another transaction?" I pressed "yes," then "balance inquiry." Wow! You got some loot there, little man. I pressed "withdrawal" and then the $400 button. It all came out and I felt an unexpected surge of excitement. Thanks for the dough, ass wipe!—Anonymous

Read more I, Anonymous here

To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

Comments (14)

Showing 1-14 of 14

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-14 of 14

Comments are closed.

From the Archives

Most Commented On

Top Viewed Stories

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy