I, Anonymous 

Wherefore Art Thou, Portland?

Portland, I loved you once. I loved you when you were full of decaying industrial buildings and the Deschutes brewery was the only local one with decent beer. I loved you when Southeast was a place where the working class lived, and there were affordable apartments around the city. I loved you when I could talk to natives wherever I worked—people born in places beyond the Cascades and didn't fear them, like Pendleton. Before "sustainability," before awful little clothing shops with neutral colors everywhere, before dreadful Thai restaurants that all taste the same. Before horrifically ugly "crafts." Before idiots with mini bike locks in their back pockets blew through red lights. Before the trundling masses made their way through Powell's, or the Pearl District became a beacon for over development. Before the insidious gentrification of Northeast Portland. I hate you now. I hate my beautiful city and the fucking idiots that moved here. I hate every one of you sanctimonious assholes that refused to make your own town better. I miss blue-collar Portland. I miss real Portland. I miss dives before they were ironic. If I could find a Portland before whatever clusterfuck this place is now, I'd move. For now I just have to ask people to GET THE FUCK OUT, NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE, GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM. Thank you.—Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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