I, Anonymous 


So that whole "naked chick tied up in your car" thing got a little more media coverage than you expected, huh? Your neighbors are pretty amused about that. You know, we've been tolerant of you—we've been nice about the explosions; nobody called the cops on you for the 3 am bike olympics and T-shirt gun firing in your backyard; we've looked the other way about debris, the junked car, the truck parked on the street, and the snotty fucking attitudes you sling around. Maybe, now that it's apparent that the rest of the world thinks you're irritating, cartoony exhibitionists, you could repay the neighborhood's tolerance by being quiet when the rest of us are sleeping, jerks. A couple of us have actual jobs to get to in the mornings. Also it wouldn't kill you to say hello back. You are clearly not cooler than anybody else. Love, your neighbors. Every single one of us.—Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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