I, Anonymous 

I Cheated On You Like Crazy

Okay, I admit it, I cheated on you. When I broke up with you, you asked me if there was someone else. I lied and said, “No, absolutely not.” For the next three months you practically stalked me... calling me every day, sending me emails, and confronting me in public, nagging me about how I broke your heart, how I was never going to be the same without you, and how you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me. For a few minutes, I felt bad that I was fucking my coworker during the time I was only supposed to be fucking you. But after that last three months of hell you put me through, I’m suddenly feeling a lot better about it. I was fucking her. I admit it. I was fucking her. And it was pretty fucking great.-Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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