I, Anonymous 

Commuter Puke-Shooter

I should have known that you had already puked and were going to do it again, by the puke on your shoe and pants and your eyes rolling around the back of your dome. But I thought for sure no dumbass would get on the MAX after already proving he can't hold his liquor. But you ARE a dumbass. So while crossing the Steel Bridge you projectile vomited onto everyone. Why the fuck did you puke forward into your hands, and not down on the ground? The people you puked on are amazing, because nobody said anything about your burrito chunks going everywhere. When we got to the Rose Quarter we all had to get off, because you'd created a biohazard, and wait while TriMet brought a new train in. You cleared a fucking train! But you aren't 100 percent to blame. You had two brilliant friends who were way more sober, who didn't think twice about bringing your ass on the train. They didn't even flinch, like this was routine. I know puking happens. But for fuck's sake, if you have already been puking, don't get on until you are cool to ride. Got it, you little poopshit?—Anonymous

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