I’ve been a daily customer of a certain convenience store since it opened a while ago. I really was just trying to be quietly helpful when I told you, the menopausal redhead, that the can of Bumble Bee tuna I bought there yesterday was bad. I eat a lot of Bumble Bee tuna. I know what it looks like, and it’s not grayish brown and it does not smell like an unwashed lobster trap in the sun. Your reaction stunk worse than the product itself. You made it very clear that you did not believe me, and even persisted in harassing me at the register by first asking if I wanted to buy your awful pizza, then telling me that I couldn’t return it. Luckily, said biohazard was still sitting in the trash bin at my work studio, so I rescued it and returned it to a hidden corner of your store. I’m sure you’ll be able to find it once it gets warmer outside.—Anonymous
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