Kalah Allen

I'm short—so what? I'm overweight, too, and sometimes I don't do my laundry for a week. I sit around and game most days. You may have seen me around town standing at a bus stop, and if you're a dick, you probably said some shitty thing to me. My hair is long and I have a scraggly goatee with a few zits scattered about my face. I don't have a girlfriend, which I'm sure comes as no surprise to some of you dicks out there. As you might suspect, I don't have a lot of self-esteem. I've had sex once, and I'm 34 years old. I've sort of given up on ever having a real life, with a family and all. When I went out the other day and ate two burritos from the new Mexican place around the corner, I didn't know they wouldn't sit well. I tried to take the bus home, but I couldn't. So when you saw me drop my pants and take a huge shit that exploded on the side of that trashcan, I'm sure it grossed you out. But, living the life I have lived, I kinda didn't care. I was surprised at how little shame I had. I don't know how to feel about this.—Anonymous