Kalah Allen

Dear intoxicated guy who tried to get in my car: I'm really sorry for almost causing you bodily harm. I pulled up to the red light and saw you sitting at the bus stop. I saw you get up but assumed the bus was about to come... but then... you tried to open my (luckily LOCKED) back car door. This was on West Burnside downtown at 10-something at night. My first thought was that you were about to carjack me, so I gunned it as far as I could without being T-boned. When you threw your hands up and asked, "You're not gonna let me in, man?" I saw the money in your hand. Shit. Really sorry about that... you likely won't remember it tomorrow anyway. Sorry for the foul language flowing from my mouth... I thought you were carjacking me, after all! My car is an older white Honda. I can't imagine how drunk you had to have been to confuse me with a cab! I hope you don't try that shit with someone who has weapons in their car, my friend.—Anonymous