I, Anonymous 

Blood Meridian

Ladies, I'm sorry about the tampon. It was Sunday, June 17, post Pride parade, and I was at Powell's meeting a friend for coffee. I knew my tampon was failing, but you know how it is when the conversation is good—the world tends to stop. Unfortunately, not so for my little red visitor. I finally made my way to the bathroom, and I was not prepared for the scene that greeted me when I finally made it into a stall. It was like a deleted scene from Game of Thrones, deemed too bloody for HBO. My entire uterus appeared to be hanging from the string, like the world's worst Christmas ornament. I freaked out and tried to wipe the blood trails off my thighs and figure out if I should put my underwear in my bag, or in the trash. I realized that not only had I bled through an entire tampon plus my underwear, but the whole seat and inseam of my shorts was soaked. In my haste to get home before I passed out, I forgot to flush. Despite what philosophizin' feministas will tell you about de-stigmatizing menstrual blood, it is downright gross to see someone else's goo swimming around in the toilet. And so, again I say: Ladies, I'm sorry about the tampon.—Anonymous

Read more I, Anonymous here

To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

Comments (15)

Showing 1-15 of 15

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-15 of 15

Comments are closed.

From the Archives

More by Anonymous

Most Commented On

Top Viewed Stories

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy